Paul Harvey, March 18, 1993:
“If I were the prince of darkness, I would want to engulf the whole world in darkness. I’d have a third of its real estate, and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apples on the tree. So, I would set about, however necessary, to take over the United States. I’d subvert the churches first. I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would
whisper to you as I whispered to Eve, ‘Do as you please.’ To the young, I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I’d confide that what’s bad is good, and what good is square. And the old I would teach to pray after me, ‘Our father, which art in Washington.’
“Then I’d get organized. I’d educate authors on how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.
“If I were the devil, I would soon have families at war with themselves; churches at war with themselves; and, nation at war with themselves, until each in turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings, I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.
“If I was the devil, I would encourage schools to teach young intellects, but neglect to discipline emotions. Just let those run wild, until before you knew it, you’d have to have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. Within a decade, I’d have prisons overflowing, and judges promoting pornography? Soon I could evict God from the courthouse, and the schoolhouse, and then from the houses of Congress. And in his own churches, I would substitute psychology for religion, and deify science. I’d lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls, and church
money.
“If I were the devil, I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.
“If I were the devil, I’d take from those who have, and give to those who wanted, until I killed the incentive of the ambitious. What would you bet that I couldn’t get folks to promote gambling as the way to get rich? I would caution against extremes in hard work; in patriotism; and, in moral conduct. I’d convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, and that swinging is more fun; that what you see on TV is the way to be; and, that I could undress you in public, and lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure.
“In other words, if I were the devil, I just keep right on doing what he’s doing. Paul Harvey. Good day.”