I am a 39-year old-woman that have been married close to 20 years. I am no longer attracted sexually to my husband and haven’t been in 10 years. I have been very much faithful through this time. However I will be 40 in a couple months and I don’t want to do another 20, because of the issue he has sexually. What do I do?
Thank you for your question. I know that this is a very personal and trying issue for you, and I’ll simply try to answer it from a biblical perspective. Here are some Scriptures that seem to offer very straightforward answers to your question:
– 1 Corinthians 7:39 says, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.”
– 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
– In Luke 16:18, Christ said “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Since Exodus 20:14 tells us that adultery is a sin, then it follows that the marriage of a divorced woman causes adultery, so this is wrong.
Also, it is true that the only valid biblical reasons for divorce are adultery and abandonment, and here are the scriptures supporting this:
– Matthew 5:32 “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
– 1 Corinthians 7:13-16 says, “… if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him… But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances.” I know that this probably isn’t the answer you want to hear, but the Scriptures indicate that it would be wrong to leave your husband, despite his shortcomings which include neither adultery nor abandonment.
For more information on love and marriage, please see my article entitled Love, Marriage, and Sex.